Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Dreaming of Being Pregnant

There's nothing like a weird, scary pregnancy dream to wake you up and keep you from falling back to sleep. In the past week I've had two such dreams, and after this second one I'm starting to get a little freaked out.

Now, mind you, Brandon and I are not officially in the bump-making stage, so I guess these dreams are just from things Ive seen or read about. And even though we're not there these dreams are starting to scare the shit out of me.

Last night was the most recent of the crazy dreams. A dream that felt so real. A dream that I was even erry of telling Brandon this morning for fear that it might actually happen when we do have babies. A dream that made me get out of bed because I didn't want to fall back in to the dream again. I told Brandon about the first dream, and he stopped me half way through because he said he didn't even want to think about the horrible and awful things that can happen during the term of a pregnancy or in the delivery room.

Pregnancy is supposed to be an enjoyable experience, a bonding session between a mother and her baby. Not a torture session full of questions and worrying if your baby is going to make it. Tears of sorrow should never accompany pregnancy or giving birth.

But that's exactly what my dream was about, and tears filled my eyes when my pregnancy failed and the words miscarriage rolled across my tongue. Growing attached to something so small and so dependent on you and then losing it just like that. It's not fair. Why do dreams have to be and feel so real?

Have any of you had dreams like this? I know this is nothing compared to the reality of actually losing a baby like I've read some of you have gone through. 

How did you handle it?

2 comments:

  1. I don't know if you believe in these things, but don't you think that it might have something to do with the traumatic death experience that you had recently? Dreams are usually the fears that are hidden in our subconscious, maybe you just didn't process your feelings completely yet.
    I hope that what i said made sense. Interpreting dreams is kind of my mom's thing, I guess I took it after her...

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  2. i'm sorry you're having these terrible dreams. I can relate to what Ana said above. Sometimes our dreams are the fears or thoughts of our subconscious. I imagine it's completely natural to have the fears you're experiencing at this stage in your life. Just remind yourself, it wasn't real, it hasn't happened, it's possible but not probable.

    happy thoughts.
    xo

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