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Life After I DO: the good wife

Yesterday husband came home from work around the usual time. We exchanged a kiss and said hello. I asked him how his day was. He doesn't go into much detail. Ever. So when he said "Good" I figured it was just that - a good day. He then asked me what I did today. Caught off guard and a little ashamed, I rattled off the menial tasks I accomplished {made homemade jam, baked cookies, and commented on my favorite blogs}.

His question got the wheels turning... Am I being a good wife? I mean, I didn't even have dinner ready when Brandon walked through the door. What I did throw together didn't take long, but that's beside the point.

And, sometimes I don't "do" anything with myself all day {no make-up and hair in a really messy bun, you know, the unattractive messy bun, and teeth brushed, yeah that might even be questionable. Oops!} and well, I look like a hot mess. Have I failed at my role being a wife?

What does it mean to be a wife to you?

Is it having dinner ready by the time your man gets home? Making your bed every morning? {I did do that today!} Is it staying on top of the laundry and not allowing yourself or significant other to go without underwear? {Can you say commando? Gross!} Or is it going to bed with no dishes in the sink? Or, all the above?

Being a wife, means you're an important half to a team that involves a husband and a wife. Brandon and I are a team, meaning we work together to bring out the best in one another. We strive to create a great life for ourselves as best friends and lovers. We love one another, and we live to support each other.


  1. Great post! I really think it just depends on your relationship and the season of your life.

    I think if think is a question, you should ask your hubby what he expects. For us, it's breakfast/a packed lunch in the morning (hubby works way more hours than I do and is gone by 7 a.m. at the latest every day), dinner at night, a presentable house (sometimes) and clean clothes to wear. Of course, since I work full-time too, he pitches in and understands when things slip, especially with being preggo.

    When I was working 32 hours, I automatically did more around the house, because I had more time. I'd love to do a "chore chart" like I've seen some of my friends do where you break everything down to a certain day and include a few yard work days for the hubby, but we haven't gotten that far yet ... I think we'll wait until the baby is here and we figure that out before we worry too much about everything else!

  2. Hmm, that's a good question. I'll have to ask Adam what it means to him.

  3. Well, to me, marriage would mean the good with the bad, including the good with the "every day." But I love this question, really gets you thinking.

  4. i love this post. i definitely needed this reminder. LOVE your writing style, Alisha!!

  5. This is a difficult question you've asked! I've been thinking about this a lot lately too. I'd love to be the wife who 'does it all' like having the house clean, laundry done, and food on the table for dinner.

    However, not really having the time to do those things each day, I feel that being a good wife is mostly about loving my husband. I hope to be supportive and loving to him, and always communicating concerns and expectations to each other. Our lives are constantly changing, so the roles my husband and I play are always changing too. The constant needs to be love though. I think that's being a good wife. Love, love, love. (:

    I wrote a book... oops. I hope to see more comments on this subject, because it's interesting to see how everyone defines being a good wife!

  6. Being single myself I can only comment based on observing my very good friends and their relationships. I've seen over the years what I would like to emulate one day and what I'd avoid doing.

    From an outsiders point of view the best marriages seem to be the ones where they find a happy balance.

    Don't force yourself into a stepford house wife type role, find what works for you BOTH and makes you happy. :)

    and that concludes my useless, single girl advice LOL :)

  7. Great question...I agree that it's important to be half of a team in being a good wife but the hubby enjoys when I have dinner waiting for him when he comes home and being dressed up..he likes it too!

  8. You sound like me! Honestly! There are days I don't do anything with myself... days I never leave the house... days I don't feel like cooking. You're fine!!

  9. Love this post! That's all my husband says when he gets home too. "good" "it was ok"... that's a dude's thing.

    I personally believe that being a good wife has nothing to do with being on top of housework. Yes, I work A LOT LESS than my husband does, so I do feel bad if he walks home and dinner is not ready or if he runs out of socks.
    But like you said, we're a team and I'm always there for him, in the good and the bad days. That's what makes me a good wife, in my opinion.

  10. what a great post!! i think it just means always being there and being supportive of your husband! just because you don't have dinner on the table or don't make the bed doesn't mean you aren't.. everyone's so busy these days that it is hard to keep up with those things every day. so i think the love and support is most important!!

  11. I'm glad that you said that you and your husband are a team - I think that's so important to any relationship! :)
    It sounds like you accomplish a lot - and girl, this is not 1950, you don't need a hot dinner on the table when your husband gets home! ;) I'm sure he doesn't expect that from you.
    Love your blog, dear - this post was excellent, and I really enjoy your writing style!

  12. This was a really sweet post! Marriage is definitely all about team work. My husband and I both work long hours and have 2 children and a dog too. We have a plan of who does what and it works out great. We compliment each other very well which is also important. You are being a good wife as long as you are there for each other equally!

    Oh and he kills all the spiders or insects for me. That's love! Heather

  13. Its a good question to get you thinking!
    I realize that I try to have dinner made every night because that is just the way I show Gabe that I love him. However, if I don' have it made he doesn't care....he will offer to make it for me. In that way, you are right...marriage is about serving eachother selflessly each the same. Being a good wife in my eyes is putting love into the little things you do. Its something I always try to work on, and he often does a better job than me;)

  14. I wish I could be home more often so I could do a big meal each night. I don't get home from work until 5:30 and then I rush to dance classes for 6:30. I fret when I get home about housework and meals and I bust my booty on weekends cooking a lot to freeze. He doesn't expect it, I just do it. But I think I'm spoiling him! ;)


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