Jenni's Guest Post: Ramblings on Love :)
Ah, love… When Alisha asked me to guest post about this topic, I was simply delighted. Love is one of my favorite things to write about!
But oh, what to say? There is just so much. Sometimes I look back on old poetry I’ve written about past loves (most of which were terribly unrequited), and I just HAVE to laugh. “Love” for me back then (and we’re talking middle school and high school here) was such a desperate thing, such an inconvenient and angry thing. Mostly because the ones I “loved” never loved me back. Probably because I was always “in love” with a boy much older than myself (minor detail).
But I remember lying in my bed many nights, perfectly TORN UP inside. Begging God to make Boy of the Hour fall in love with me. Planning our future lives together. Wishing, hoping, longing, crying, churning out angst-ridden poetry on the injustices of unrequited love.
And now? Now I THANK God for not granting me my wishes. It’s examples like these that truly depict the way that, in our youth and our ignorance, we beg for things which seem so desirable in the present but would never suit the person we will later be. God’s timing is perfect, and the sooner we learn to trust him, the sooner we find peace with our circumstances.
Now I am happily married to a man who one day waltzed into my life, turned it upside down, shook out the contents, and filled it back up with love-filled things. And I don’t just mean MATERIAL things. I mostly mean immaterial gifts that only a true and good and pure love can bring – like confidence and encouragement and complete support and the inspiration to be a better human being. And it’s just so hard not to believe in fate when you find something so joyful as a One True Love. One that loves you back. One that pours beauty and laughter and camaraderie into your life every single new day.
Love is such a funny thing. Oftentimes we don’t choose it, but instead it chooses us. And sometimes when love chooses us, it ends up being entirely wrong. It ends up being too hard, too strained, or too difficult to justify. And that’s when the truly wise let go. It takes a strong person to recognize when, yes, the love is real, but no, it is not healthy. I, myself, have had to let go of love before, and even still today I’m sometimes haunted by love-filled memories from the past. Who isn’t, really? We give a part of ourselves to the people we love, and we really never get it back. Not that time, not those feelings, and not those memories. But love always bounces back! It renews and multiplies and gets better and stronger as we age, whether we’ve had 100 Loves or only one.
Love is a funny, imperfect thing. It is sung about, written about, philosophized about, fought over, died over, and lived for. But in the end, love should only add to your life - not take away.
Just a few thoughts.
And congratulations to Alisha and Brandon (just married this last Saturday)!!! Wishing you many, many love-filled years……
Love always, ;)
Jenni (from Story of My Life)