Friday, December 10, 2010

Jenna's Guest Post: 6 Obvious Things About Love We Forget

I am a total girl, I am a self-diagnosed hopeless romantic, and I am the opposite of a realist. I have wildly illogical aspirations when it comes to love. I adore the thought of love, falling in love, being in love, anything that revolves around or remotely pertains to love...

 That's me, the illogical, hopeless romantic, non-realist. ;)

But I am also growing up and realizing that love is different in real-life than it is in the movies, on TV or just generally from the outside-looking-in. We often forget the silly, mundane, completely OBVIOUS things about love that are sort of essential to remember; the things that will keep us from going completely crazy. Sticking to the “love” theme this week, I decided this would be a post about simple complexities; the obvious things we are often too blind to normally see. This might be mostly geared toward the younger, single-ish readers out there (like me!), but I think it could be relevant for us all to keep in our thoughts. Consider this a reminder post.

“6 Pretty Obvious Things about Love and Relationships that We Often Forget”


Don’t compare your love life to your best friend/sister/next-door-neighbor/hairdresser/Starbucks barista…It’s easy to forget that you are not your sister. Or your cousin. Or your cousin’s step-sister’s best friend’s college-roommate. I don’t care who it is, you should not be comparing your love life to someone else’s. We all move through life at different paces, so don’t worry if you’re heading to your good friend’s wedding solo. It’s okay to feel a little down. We all do it. We’re human. But remember: when the right person comes along, you’ll know, and there will be no need for comparison. In the meantime, you just have to be patient.   



If a guy wants to call you, he will. If a guy wants to date you, he will. If a guy wants to marry you, he will. It’s just that simple. A recurring theme keeps popping up on the love lives of the people near-and-dear to me. Why is he not doing _______?! Guys are not especially complex in this area of their lives. Generally if they want to do something, they will seal the deal—whether it’s asking you to get lunch or sliding a ring on your finger. Of course, there are special cases when the guy might need some encouragement, but for the most part the above is true. Watch He’s Just Not That Into You. There is a lot of truth to that movie.



Boys are confusing, but remember that we girls are confusing too. I know some guys’ actions are seriously beyond comprehension. Really, I just end up blaming testosterone. But cut him some slack—the next time you are PMS-ing and start crying because you spilled the candy dish on the floor, he probably won’t really get it either.  We will never fully get men, just like they will never fully get us. And that’s okay as long as we are understand that we will never understand. Do you understand? Ha!



You cannot change a guy, but a guy might change because of you. There is a big difference. People are who they are, and won’t be changing because you are attempting to help them do it. A guy, or any person for that matter, will change if he wants to. You cannot make him change, but you could be the catalyst in his life that will cause him to want to make a change if you are truly in love. However those concepts are different and it’s important not to confuse the two.


Be with someone who wants you, not needs you. I once read this cheesy young-adult historical fiction book about a million years ago, and this exact sentence could pretty much sum up the book. Who knew there would be such amazing life-applicable wisdom within the pages of a novel for 12-year-olds?! It’s important to be with someone who wants you as opposed to needs you. If a guy is needy, you end up thinking you can fix him. This is bad, because it never works out and you waste a whole lot of good years trying to make the impossible possible. Instead, be with a guy who just simply loves you and wants you. He should have the ‘I can absolutely live without you, I just REALLY don’t want to’ mentality. That’s very un-needy. And that’s a great kind of guy.  



Love should feel good. That’s right, friends. Love should actually make you feel good, and pretty much all the time. Sure, anything worth having in life will present some challenges, but if your relationship has a lot more bad in it than it does good, it might be time to re-assess. You absolutely deserve the best. Just sometimes, we get so wrapped up in love and life that we tend to forget that simple fact. Don’t worry. I’m here to remind you!

Congratulations to Alisha and Brandon! Can’t wait to see wedding pictures from this beautiful couple!! And thanks to A for letting me take over her blog for a day. I had tons of fun with you all!!

Have a lovely day, friends.

xo,
Jenna

9 comments:

  1. This is exactly what I need to read today, THANK YOU!

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  2. wonderfully true Jenna!! Good pointers for all the single ladies out there. I know it is rough on you girls and the way society is these days it is even harder.

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  3. All of these points resonate SO true, and they are things that are so easy to forget! I think too often we're so caught up in our relationships, or the time before a relationship, that we let things (probably too much) slide, and then it becomes a downward spiral from there.
    Your advice is perfect, and I just adore you, darling Jenna!
    P.S. Alisha and Brandon, congratulations! I'm so happy that the two of you found each other and are starting your life together :) xo

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  4. My favorites are #s 1, 2, and 5!! Good stuff, Jenna. You are wise beyond your years. :)

    PS - this sounds like it could be a article in a magazine!! Heehee!!

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  5. Always love her articles. She's such a cute heart.
    Thanks for sharing Alisha.
    Kisses.

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  6. Cute as always, Jenna!! These are all things we talk about in our e-mails back and fourth (: So glad I have been introduced to Alisha's blog!

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  7. Dearest Jenna, you have a true gift! Thank you so much for taking over my blog for the day, and turning it into something wonderful! There is SO much truth in this post, and it is definitely worth sharing. Thank you, thank you, thank you!! :)

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  8. Dearest Alisha,

    Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to take over your blog for a day. I loved it!! And thanks to all who read it. I enjoyed sharing with you guys!

    Congrats to you Alisha and Brandon. Here's to the wonderful life you will share!! :) :)

    XO,
    Jenna

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  9. Il semble que vous soyez un expert dans ce domaine, vos remarques sont tres interessantes, merci.

    - Daniel

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